During my time as Director of Athletics at a college preparatory school on the East Coast, I had many parents approach me feeling overwhelmed by the recruiting process. One aspect every parent must remember is that the athlete has to take this particular bull by the horns and initiate communication with college coaches. You have spent your parenthood doing what you think is best to set your child up for success, so it’s natural to want to help! Key to remember in all this is that your role is to support your son or daughter, not take over the process. Here are some simple ways to do just that:
Make sure the athlete does the talking and communicating. If you have been shouldering the communication with college coaches, you are doing your child a disservice. A Division I college lacrosse coach once told me, “I’m not going to be working with the parents, I’m coaching the student, and I want to know he can speak for himself.”
The same Division I coach recounted a story in which he asked an athlete to email him updated GPA and SAT scores. He soon began to receive eloquent, mature emails from the athlete’s email address. The tone of the email was very different from previous communication between the coach and the young athlete. You guessed it; the father had been emailing the coach from his son’s email account!
In your attempt to help your child, remember not to overstep your boundaries. Your child has to be able to communicate with the coach, and respond to his or her requests in a timely manner – trust me, there will be much more of that to follow as a collegiate athlete!
I’m impressed. You’re obviously an expert. Thank you.